This was one of the hardest days I have had as an administrator so far. Keep in mind I have been through a lot in my educational career and had students with situations that would make most people vomit from disgust and heartache. None of those have been easy. There is something to be said, though, of having to have gut wrenching, heart wrenching conversations and trying to be the leader, trying to keep the focus while you watch someone in pain.
I knew coming into this that in order to be effective this job demands personal sacrifice. Communications, decisions, outcomes, support are all up to me. I can see how easy it is for many to fail at this job. You have to spend that extra 30 minutes past when you said you would be home because there are 40 people waiting on information that only you have to give. Not spending that 30 minutes can be the difference in someone having the information they need to make their decisions which ultimately always affects students.
The world is on edge and our community is no different. Parents are struggling in so many ways. All week long, issues that used to be handled at the teacher level are coming straight to my office. Is it that parents feel like the education of their children is the only thing left to control, to hold onto or change? Is it that parents are desperate more than ever for their children to have success that they don't so they don't face the same economic future? Five minute clarity conversations between parents and teachers are turning into 45 minute counseling and support sessions between parents and my and Scott's office. I am happy to do it but it does take a toll.
I started to cry myself to sleep tonight, not out of pity or "woe is me"..please, not my personality...but because I am so tired and sick (can't shake this chest cold) and using every last bit of my energy to get through the days, especially on a day like today. I decided to get up and write about it instead, hoping that would clear my mind enough to let me sleep. After I started this blog, one of my teachers gave me a page from a "quote a day calendar" that said, "good girls keep diaries, bad girls don't have the the time." She crossed out the word diaries and wrote the word "blog". I'm finally starting to feel sleepy...
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